Tat’s Bizarre Travels

Weston, WV - My trip to the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum (TALA) was a bit of a lengthy one. Not just the tour, but the drive was longer than expected, and since I had to be home at a reasonable hour this week, I felt crunched for time. I could have opted for the much more cost effective and shorter tour of the 1^st floor, but since I got a bit lost on my way to my first intended site (I don’t want to talk about it) I felt I needed to make the most of my visit to TALA so I bought the overpriced tour and spent a good three hours hearing the history of one of the last standing asylums in the united states.

The TALA is a privately owned abandoned mental hospital, originally called the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Museum. By the time it closed it’s doors in the 90’s it had changed it’s name to Weston State Hospital, my assumption is when it was bought from the state the new owners knew what a marketing gem the original title was and so they’re now using it to it’s fullest extent. In fact if you visit they’re super-slick website you’ll notice that they’re playing up the whole insane asylum image, complete with hauntings. Don’t use the site as a barometer to experience their overall marketing, though. I’m pretty sure they blew the budget on it and have nothing left over for souvenirs or brochures, although you can purchase a t-shirt if you’d like.

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Triadelphia, WV - There really is no place in the world like Cabelas. Except maybe another Cabelas. It’s not a unique sporting goods store, it’s part of a chain, and that’s what’s so bizarre about it.

Cabela’s is part 19^th century natural history museum and part consumer wonderland. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen so much taxidermy in one spot, including a natural history museum. There’s everything from “Conservation Mountain,” which takes up a good third of the store, to the Serengeti, complete with lions, rhinos and elephants. There is also a fair amount of carnage as stuffed beasts snarl with the remainents of another stuffed beast in it’s mouth. Oh, and the mounted heads. So many mounted heads.

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Moundsville, WV - When you go to visit the Official Marx Toy Museum get ready for an education. This isn’t a museum that you got to just to look at toys, it’s one where you get to learn about them. You can’t play with them, but considering some of the toys can bring in as much as $14,000 on the collectors market I guess that makes sense. So basically it’s the opposite of every principal a child holds dear. Well, at least it’s a fun education.

When you first come to the museum you’ll be met by the owner, Francis Turner. He has a whole schpeal that lasts a good half hour and includes a little ten minute video that tells you the rise and fall of the Marx empire. I happened to show up at the same time as some other visitors so we got the tour all at the same time, but something tells me he’ll give his talk to as few as one visitors. He’s an expert on the Marx toys and Louis Marx himself. And with thousands of toys that span the 60 years of Marx rule, you can understand how he could get a little attached.

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